The f** word

So, at long last, it's here. Avian influenza has reached good old Blighty.

It's good to know that the BBC's finest are on the case, issuing advice to the Great British public on how to identify the Bird Flu Top Ten - that is, the species which 'have been monitored by experts as potential importers of the virus'.

From my perspective, this page is good for one thing - providing amusement. Just look at poor old Mr Wigeon below! He does look a bit ill, doesn't he!

I can only guess that these shoddy illustrations didn't cost as much as a proper image from an image library would have done.

What use is this story? Here are the top ten birds to avoid! Better still, kill them if you can! Still, how is anyone going to be able to avoid a White-fronted Goose when the BBC is telling you they look like this? That resembles a very odd-looking Canada x Greylag hybrid, to me...

As you would expect, Charlie Moores has written something funny about f**. Read 'Bird F**' - Britain under attack...' and weep, because there almost certainly are people out there who are thinking like that.

We watched the BBC Ten O'Clock News last night. Top of the bill was bird flu and how it might have got to Britain. Bizarrely, Puffins were mentioned!

If the BBC says it, it must be true. After all, Puffins are well-known for spending their winters on the shores of the Baltic (not out at sea, far from land and other birds), in close contact with infected swans, before they return to Britain, carrying the Deadly Bird Flu with them.

I know Puffins are cute and make good television, but don't implicate the poor little fellows in bird flu when it's nothing to do with them!

Grrr!